the garrison show

i’m hooked. where to begin…

first, the crew. we had a new skipper and first mate on our second trip. mel, the captain, is also the owner of the fleet and sailing company. he’s been on the water for more years than i’ve been alive - almost twice as many. he’s got a story and a scenario for every occasion and is an absolutely fantastic teacher. he was knowledgeable (to put it mildly), perceptive and patient. more about this in a bit. will, another english bloke, was the first mate. he was seriously infected with the racing bug after coming out of a life of airplanes and military service. he knew his stuff cold and was eager to answer questions. with these two guys manning the boat, we couldn’t help but learn.

next, the passengers. i admit i was a little hesitant about starting this whole thing over with 10 new people but my fears evaporated when i saw the tremendous quantities of alcohol that the next group brought on board. there were 3 canadian guys and 4 english dudes and between them, i’m not exaggerating, there were over 120 cans of beer and probably 12 liters of wine. after 3 days, it was all gone. turns out, there’s no inappropriate time or place for beer. who knew? i think that’s probably all i need to say about that.

the actual course was fantastic. mel covered sail theory (how the wind moves the boat), meteorology, navigation, chart reading, parts of the boat and the actualy mechanics of how to sail. i’m now adept at “taking on the port running backstay” and “easing off the headsail sheet.” it’s a totally new vocabulary. the only thing that really hung me up (can you feel the pun coming?) was trying to hoist the main sail–a sheet of fabric that weighs more than i do–up 120 feet of mast. i’ll have to hit the gym when i get back to the states.

the last bit of good news occured when we were getting ready to disembark. mel pulled me over to sign my logbook and told me that if i got back to the whitsundays sometime, he would put me on his boats as a volunteer while i really learned to sail. he would host me for 4 weeks while i ate and slept on different boats and lent a hand as a crew member. so if i get back to australia, i’ve got a free 4-week vacation on the water. total score. who’s coming with me??

final note: regarding the offspring of interracial reltaionships, taiwanese + swedish = gorgeous.

damn, this trip just keeps getting better and better.

i was apprehensive about a 3-day, 2-night self-guided tour on an island with 9 strangers for all the obvious reasons. the backpacker culture is a strange one; in some ways it’s a throwback to the early 20’s and its collegiate debauchery but at the same time there’s a thirst for “authentic” experiences which is refreshing. i’ll probably post again about this as i reflect more on it…

in any case, the scenery on the island is top-notch. from lake mckenzie to wabby lake to the shipwreck to indian’s head, there’s tons to see and 3 days isn’t nearly enough time. it’s not a small island either, so we spent a lot of time just in our 4-wheeler, driving around on the beach from place to place.

the gang consisted of a bloke from Glasgow who was nearly as sarcastic as i am, a couple girls from Canada, a few chaps from Ireland and a trio from England. i was definitely the odd man out as the sole american. we quoted Anchorman religiously and enjoyed ourselves enormously.

the one bizarre caveat here was the behavior of our campsite host, wayne, an aboriginal. historically, the aboriginals have had serious problems with alcohol because their metabolism and body chemistry is so different. in most parts of australia, it’s illegal to serve more than one drink to aboriginal in fact. that’s part of the reason it’s somewhat troubling to hear wayne exhorting us all to “get fucked up.”

cultures that exist in such proximity–as the white and the aboriginal do–are bound to spill into each other. i just wish it was a little more reciprocal and not just a one-way adoption of all the worst aspects of western culture. the aboriginals can do so much better than mcdonald’s and budweiser; i wish we would learn something from them instead of the other way around…

so i’m in the states less than 8 hours and the difference is palpable. just riding the plane from LA to vegas, people immediately just seem more irritable, more obnoxious, louder and less patient. i will miss the relaxed and sarcastic attitude of the aussie’s and backpackers.

in other news, i spent a good afternoon with ransford. he’s still on the audition circuit and getting cash money from previous projects. we walked around santa monica on the boardwalk and the beach. it’s definitely official: LA beaches are a joke compared anything down under. just one more reason to go back, i suppose…

brisbane to auckland.

auckland to LA.

LA to vegas.

vegas to atlanta.

atlanta to my town and then back to atlanta (by car).

atlanta to DC.

i live in the air, surrounded by pressurized plastic and artifically friendly uniforms. ugh.

casualties: sleeping bag lost in transit (claim submitted), ice cream stain on my shirt, complete lack of awareness of body rhythm.

benefits: saw 6 movies, read a lot, saw a really hot girl in an airport.

i’m ready to land.

for the second time in my life, i was a total asshole missed my flight.

the first time was much more significant. i missed a flight to san francisco for a job conference. if i’d made it, i may very well be on my way to CA instead of GA…but i totally screwed myself everything happens for a reason and i can’t complain too much. you would have thought i would have learned a lesson from the experience, though.

unfortunately, i didn’t and this time i totally underestimated traffic, lost track of time, and tried to do way too much. suck. i ended up with a decision between flights leaving in one hour (for $180) or six hours (at the possible cost of my sanity). i sucked it up and pulled out my credit card.

at this point, i’m just hungry and tired and ready to be home. too bad i’m not even sure where that is right now…

i’m in georgia.

i drove in my civic and my stuff (not that there’s much of it) rode in a van. who drove the van? who’s my only friend? zigler. that’s a stand-up guy for ya.

it turns about it’s pretty close to a 10-hour drive from northern va with minimal stops. if you stop in richmond and visit a couple of your schmuck friends, that can creep closer to 12 or 13 hours.

now, i don’t know if you’ve happened to have been outside at all recently, but it’s hot. damn hot. and it’s even hotter in a 92 civic without air conditioning. and an overheating problem. an overheating problem that forces you to vent the hot air from the engine into the cabin. and sweat like oprah playing basketball on a rooftop court in mississippi in the middle of july. you get the point.

anywho, we got in late, had some food and milkshakes, and crashed like a couple of planes. planes flown by the kennedys. get it?

i get internet wednesday and furniture…eventually. i’ll be starting school (orientation) monday and we’ll see what happens. i’ll keep you in the loop.

when will i post something interesting?

i’m writing right now at a picnic bench on my school’s campus overlooking the lake. not too shabby, really.

i’ve been in georgia for…3 days now. i still have no: bed, rug, couch, chairs, silverware, plates, tables, dresser, towel racks, or place to put my vaccuum. i know, i know. i’ve been living a very spartan lifestyle. i’ve been watching movies on my computer and playing around on the guitar. i get internet hooked up tomorrow so that will let me get started remaking this website.

i’ve also been getting into this thing - napping. i’m awesome at it! everytime i eat, i nap. it’s like i’m 3 years old again. and when i say nap, i’m talking 2-3 hours. i think i might still be catching up on sleep from january australia.

we’ve got a couple weeks of orientation at school before classes start. nothing too extraordinary although it’s fantastic to have so long to really get setup. every afternoon is pretty much free time, too.

when are you coming to visit?

you can say i’m a dork. you can say i’m a nerd, a geek, a loser. you can call me whatever you want. i don’t have anything to prove to you and i’m totally comfortable with myself. that’s why i can reveal the following.

i watched the first three harry potter movies on sunday. and the only reason i didn’t watch the fouth is cause i don’t have it. and i don’t know where the video store is. there. i said it. it’s out there. it’s on the internet, for crissakes.

it was not a completely asocial weekend, however, as friday night i went out with my new best friend from school. we saw a local band and i met a bunch of people in his group. it was refreshing to be social.

i also got on my bicycle for the first time in half a year. georgia is not a flat state, let me tell you. or at least my small town isn’t. sweet jesus, my thighs were burning after the first damn hill. and the weather’s not doing me any favors, either. i deluded myself that i’d be able to ride to school. we’ll find out about that this week.

in other news, i still have no furniture. zippo. i have a desk for my computer and an air mattress i’m borrowing from a colleague. i have no idea what to do. i’ll post more about this later. no one will read it, though.

is anyone still out there?

no interesting personal information this time around, just some entertaining and informative links. i’ve finally started catching up on my internets since i left the country (months ago) and there’s plenty to share. without further ado:

this guy writes fake obits for names that he gets spam email from. i laughed.

this touched me as a memory from home: a contest to blow up the wilson bridge. seriously.

for the geeks: this router has a 160GB hard drive, a BitTorrent client, an FTP client and an iTunes server all built-in. basically it is a home network in a box.

this baby was born with one eye. in the center of his forehead. be warned, picture is disturbring.

this browser proxy is ridiculous. you put in a website, it gives you the website formatted to look like microsoft word. this makes it easier to look at porn at work.

orgasm or fantastic marinara? you decide.

the story of chad vader, grocery store middle management. i almost peed myself. hilarious. part 2.

okay - that’s good for now. be excellent.

i sit at my keyboard, dumbfounded, failed by my powers of description.

i have just come home from karaoke. well, they called it karaoke, i have no idea what it actually was. i heard some of the best performances of my life and then there was everybody else. singing was redefined, finally free of the pesky constraints of rhythm, pitch and melody.

there was an 80-year old goldfish. we called him goldfish because it would take him about 7 seconds to forget the 20-year old coed he just asked to dance with him had declined. so he would ask again. repeat. repeat. we stopped keeping track at 30.

there was the team of 40-somethings who took to the dance floor like it was their job everytime a song with a tempo came on. i did give them credit for being the only ones who would dance with the goldfish. kudos.
there was ‘the governator,’ an older gentleman wearing a t-shirt of arnold who danced only with his hands. he was vogueing all over the place–i got dizzy just watching him.

unfortunately, the punch line to all this is that i forgot my camera at home. i can’t remember a time in my life when i’d wanted a camera more. on the other hand, it’s a weekly event so i do plan to be back. look for the footage coming soon…